28 Things You Wish Were As Fast As Usain Bolt

Usain Bolt has been recognised as the world’s fastest man, and his speed on the track dazzles and amazes. There are times in life when we all covet that kind of speed and grace. And, based on many conversations we’ve heard, people sometimes wish that the gift of speed – Usain-level speed – were a little more liberally distributed throughout Jamaican society to help get some things done faster. We did a survey, and here are 28 of the things people wish were as fast as Usain Bolt.

  1. Government workers. Everything them do take forever.
  2. My honey coming home. He’s been abroad for too long.
  3. Visa application. Especially the lines. Take too long.
  4. The traffic light when it’s on red and I’m late to get to work.
  5. The children when they’re getting ready for school in the mornings.
  6. The children when they’re getting ready for bed at nights.
  7. Barrel from foreign.
  8. Me when I have housework to do.
  9. Food cooking … sometimes you’re hungry and it takes so long!
  10. Christmas. I don’t know why it’s only once a year …
  11. My birthday.
  12. My hairdresser when she’s braiding my hair. Stop the talking and work faster, man!
  13. A certain politician giving a speech. Just saying.
  14. Morning coming. I don’t like night and I don’t like sleep.
  15. My mother when she’s making a point. You could be there all day and the point nuh mek yet!
  16. Lunch time.
  17. The end of the workday. Because sometimes 5 o’clock takes forever to come.
  18. Payday. Can’t come soon enough.
  19. Carnival! Soca in me veins, soca in me blood!
  20. Jamaican police to solve a crime …
  21. (Shh! Don’t tell nobody:) My pastor when him take too long to finish a sermon.
  22. That sister in the church who take waaay too long to pray.
  23. My MP to fix the roads in my area. It’s been a while!
  24. Jamaican men to propose … Is like them allergic to marriage?
  25. I know this sound bad, but my grandmother with everything she has to do these days. I love her though …
  26. My future wife. *looks up* Lord, I’ve been single for so long, where is she?
  27. ShipMe packages. As me order it, me waan see it reach.
  28. Summer holiday.
  29. The bartender when I’ve had a long day and just need a drink …
  30. My wife when she getting ready to go out …